Boys... how i see them at this moment

Boys are a huge distraction for me. they are not worth my time right now. And it sucks that one boy can mess it up for every last one. I hate the fact that dudes play with your heart and then break it, and not even care that they broke it. I've seriously decided that dudes are a waste of time and that i need to focus on school,family, and my future. I'm not saying I'm giving up on dudes and gonna become a lesbian. I'm saying i feel that i spent so much time worrying about a dude that i don't think ever really cared about me in the first place. And it sucks because i really thought he did at first. Its gonna be hard to let him go but i have to because I'm not getting anywhere.



It sucks having your heart broken. i would never want anybody to feel the way i feel right now. i don't care if i hated that person i wouldn't wish that they feel how i feel. it's crazy because yesterday i was looking at my horoscope and it said you need to do something that you've been dreading to do and thats move on. and i was thinking about what the horoscope said all day and I'm like it makes sense. and i feel that thats something that i seriously need to do. i have learned now not to give my heart to nobody that doesn't deserves it, because if you do that, they'll play games and you'll be left hurting.

alameda reflection

yesterday (June 5Th) we went to Alameda to interview people. my first perception of Alameda was that it was quite and didn't have any excitement there. Once we got there it was way different than i thought. I've been to Alameda plenty of times but always thought it was sort of quite to me. I see now that Alameda is not all that quite like i thought. I say this because when me and my class went there yesterday, it was around lunch time and there were a lot of high school student out and it seemed like it was sort of like Oakland when high school students go to lunch.



Later that day after we went to the beach. honestly i don't normally go to the Alameda beach because to me its not like it used to be when i was little. It used to look really good, but now it's not as pretty as it used to be, to me it's pretty crappy. But being there yesterday was coo. Being there made me think a lot about the things I'm going through. The beach was very peaceful. Watch the waves come up on the shore. it was really nice.

my thoughts about my class so far

So far this post session* whysup has been really different for me. It has sort of opened my eyes to different things about how i see the world i live in. I think that if it wasn't for this post session, i would have tried all te different things i normally would have tried.


One of the things i have overcame is sort of not being shy, going up to people a and asking them can i interview you is really hard for me. I remember when i ad documentary my 9th grade year, i didn't ask people for interviews at all. I think because i am older and becoming a leader i have stepped up and tried to do things i'm not normally used to doing. Another thing tha i overcame was trying new food, usually if i have never seen it before i would't try it or even think of trying it. During this post-session, i have tried so many new foods. One food that i will never forget trying was this chinese food that was so different. It's crazy because normally i would have looked at it and would have probably been like" No Way!!".but now that i think about it, you only live once and that you should take advantage of any opportunity that is placed in front of you. I don't really think that there was a time where i drew the line. i say this because i feel that i was tried m best to do everything that we had to do. I think that the only times i sort of said no to something was when i felt like i was putting too much input into what the group that i was in was going to do. I felt too much like i was the only one saying what we should do,so i had to step back and let my group decide what we should do.

But overrall this post-session has really gave me opportunities to do and try different things. I feel like it has pushed me sometimes out of my comfort zone, but i also feel that this is a good thing. If i didn't get into this post session i would't have seen all these different parts of the bay area. I have learned to appericate the bay area a little more than i did before.



* post session is a end of the thing that my school does where we stop the academic part of school and focus on one class for the rest of the school year. classes like art or P.E.

the castro reflection

The castro district is consider the one of the communites of San Francisco. For me it was the first time i saw so many gay men and they were so comfortable. Everyone was so nice and seemed really happy. It seemed like the interviewers me and my group got were hella nice and were willing to be interviewed. i don't think that we got rejected once being out there.
In th castro distict, they have a lot of different food and clothes stores. At lunch i went to this pizza place. OMG!! they had the best pizza ever!!! At first when me and my group there i thought that we weren't gonna get any interviews because i thought that people were gonna be like most of the people in oakland.
There was this this one guy that me and my group interviewed at this store, he was sooooooo nice!!! i loved him!!! i can't explain wh but he was great! he was sooo fly.
Overrall i really liked the castro. i liked it because everybody was so nice and they weren't worried about anything and it just felt like a loving enviorment.

Lakeshore reflection

Yesterday( June 2nd) me and my class went to Lakeshore to interview people. it was pretty fun. When i first got there i wasn't really surprised or anything because i've already been there numerous of times, so it really wasn't anything new to me.

   One thing that i liked was the Noah's bagels place. I've never been there before but i've drove passed it a lot. They are really good! During the time that me and my group were interviewing we went to this beauty supply place and there was this girl from the virgin island. She was hella coo, this was the first person i've ever met from the virgin island. She talked to me a lot about what it was like, i wouldn't mind going to visit out there some day. 

      Everything wasn't all peaches and cream yesterday though. There was this lady was asking people for money because she didn't have any, she didn't ask me but i gave her the money i had. She thanked me, i mean i was tripping off it because if i see someone in need, i'm gonna help. But there was this one lady who was walking in front of me and she said " next time she asks, you should tell her to get a job"( she was talking about the poor lady i gave the money to). That made me so mad what this lady said. How can you say some crap like that. i mean i could tell that the poor women really needed the money and for this rude lady to tell me some crap like that i wanted to go off on her. It wasn't her money so why the hell does she care if i gave it to the poor lady or not. I don't see why people are so rude!

     but besides that one thing, everything else was coo, i bought me two starbucks. I LOVE STARBUCKS!!! i didn't buy them both at the same time but i did buy two. Another thing that was fun about yesterday was the fact that we went to the rose garden. it was really pretty. My teacher told me that some people get married there. I wouldn't mind getting married up there when i get older.

old Oakland farmer's market and Lake Merritt reflection

On Friday, me and my class went to old oakland to the farmers market. I've been to old oakland before, but i never thought that they had a farmers market. My first thought when we got to the farmers market was" shouldn't these people be at work". They were a lot of people there and i'm thinking "What???" 

    Things that i saw there were a whole bunch of organic foods and you got to sample a lot of the food their. it's was nice to go and see some of the good things about oakland. During lunch i got the opportunity to try a california roll. it seems like during this whole post session i've been trying new types of food that i wouldn't normally eat, it's fun!

   Later that day me and my class went to lake Merritt to go paddle boat riding. I been before but never at lake Merritt, so that was new for me. When we started boating it was hella peaceful. I think that that was the first time i didn't worry about the other things that were going on in my life at the time.

      One thing that was really embarrassing but sort of funny was when it was time to get out of the boat, this fly ass dude was helping me out the boat and i tripped and fell!!! i was just like wow, he didn't laugh or nothing but i was hella embarrassed. The only person who laughed was my teacher Mr. lee he thought that crap was like the funniest thing ever. Overall the whole day was really fun!