Boys... how i see them at this moment

Boys are a huge distraction for me. they are not worth my time right now. And it sucks that one boy can mess it up for every last one. I hate the fact that dudes play with your heart and then break it, and not even care that they broke it. I've seriously decided that dudes are a waste of time and that i need to focus on school,family, and my future. I'm not saying I'm giving up on dudes and gonna become a lesbian. I'm saying i feel that i spent so much time worrying about a dude that i don't think ever really cared about me in the first place. And it sucks because i really thought he did at first. Its gonna be hard to let him go but i have to because I'm not getting anywhere.



It sucks having your heart broken. i would never want anybody to feel the way i feel right now. i don't care if i hated that person i wouldn't wish that they feel how i feel. it's crazy because yesterday i was looking at my horoscope and it said you need to do something that you've been dreading to do and thats move on. and i was thinking about what the horoscope said all day and I'm like it makes sense. and i feel that thats something that i seriously need to do. i have learned now not to give my heart to nobody that doesn't deserves it, because if you do that, they'll play games and you'll be left hurting.

alameda reflection

yesterday (June 5Th) we went to Alameda to interview people. my first perception of Alameda was that it was quite and didn't have any excitement there. Once we got there it was way different than i thought. I've been to Alameda plenty of times but always thought it was sort of quite to me. I see now that Alameda is not all that quite like i thought. I say this because when me and my class went there yesterday, it was around lunch time and there were a lot of high school student out and it seemed like it was sort of like Oakland when high school students go to lunch.



Later that day after we went to the beach. honestly i don't normally go to the Alameda beach because to me its not like it used to be when i was little. It used to look really good, but now it's not as pretty as it used to be, to me it's pretty crappy. But being there yesterday was coo. Being there made me think a lot about the things I'm going through. The beach was very peaceful. Watch the waves come up on the shore. it was really nice.

my thoughts about my class so far

So far this post session* whysup has been really different for me. It has sort of opened my eyes to different things about how i see the world i live in. I think that if it wasn't for this post session, i would have tried all te different things i normally would have tried.


One of the things i have overcame is sort of not being shy, going up to people a and asking them can i interview you is really hard for me. I remember when i ad documentary my 9th grade year, i didn't ask people for interviews at all. I think because i am older and becoming a leader i have stepped up and tried to do things i'm not normally used to doing. Another thing tha i overcame was trying new food, usually if i have never seen it before i would't try it or even think of trying it. During this post-session, i have tried so many new foods. One food that i will never forget trying was this chinese food that was so different. It's crazy because normally i would have looked at it and would have probably been like" No Way!!".but now that i think about it, you only live once and that you should take advantage of any opportunity that is placed in front of you. I don't really think that there was a time where i drew the line. i say this because i feel that i was tried m best to do everything that we had to do. I think that the only times i sort of said no to something was when i felt like i was putting too much input into what the group that i was in was going to do. I felt too much like i was the only one saying what we should do,so i had to step back and let my group decide what we should do.

But overrall this post-session has really gave me opportunities to do and try different things. I feel like it has pushed me sometimes out of my comfort zone, but i also feel that this is a good thing. If i didn't get into this post session i would't have seen all these different parts of the bay area. I have learned to appericate the bay area a little more than i did before.



* post session is a end of the thing that my school does where we stop the academic part of school and focus on one class for the rest of the school year. classes like art or P.E.

the castro reflection

The castro district is consider the one of the communites of San Francisco. For me it was the first time i saw so many gay men and they were so comfortable. Everyone was so nice and seemed really happy. It seemed like the interviewers me and my group got were hella nice and were willing to be interviewed. i don't think that we got rejected once being out there.
In th castro distict, they have a lot of different food and clothes stores. At lunch i went to this pizza place. OMG!! they had the best pizza ever!!! At first when me and my group there i thought that we weren't gonna get any interviews because i thought that people were gonna be like most of the people in oakland.
There was this this one guy that me and my group interviewed at this store, he was sooooooo nice!!! i loved him!!! i can't explain wh but he was great! he was sooo fly.
Overrall i really liked the castro. i liked it because everybody was so nice and they weren't worried about anything and it just felt like a loving enviorment.

Lakeshore reflection

Yesterday( June 2nd) me and my class went to Lakeshore to interview people. it was pretty fun. When i first got there i wasn't really surprised or anything because i've already been there numerous of times, so it really wasn't anything new to me.

   One thing that i liked was the Noah's bagels place. I've never been there before but i've drove passed it a lot. They are really good! During the time that me and my group were interviewing we went to this beauty supply place and there was this girl from the virgin island. She was hella coo, this was the first person i've ever met from the virgin island. She talked to me a lot about what it was like, i wouldn't mind going to visit out there some day. 

      Everything wasn't all peaches and cream yesterday though. There was this lady was asking people for money because she didn't have any, she didn't ask me but i gave her the money i had. She thanked me, i mean i was tripping off it because if i see someone in need, i'm gonna help. But there was this one lady who was walking in front of me and she said " next time she asks, you should tell her to get a job"( she was talking about the poor lady i gave the money to). That made me so mad what this lady said. How can you say some crap like that. i mean i could tell that the poor women really needed the money and for this rude lady to tell me some crap like that i wanted to go off on her. It wasn't her money so why the hell does she care if i gave it to the poor lady or not. I don't see why people are so rude!

     but besides that one thing, everything else was coo, i bought me two starbucks. I LOVE STARBUCKS!!! i didn't buy them both at the same time but i did buy two. Another thing that was fun about yesterday was the fact that we went to the rose garden. it was really pretty. My teacher told me that some people get married there. I wouldn't mind getting married up there when i get older.

old Oakland farmer's market and Lake Merritt reflection

On Friday, me and my class went to old oakland to the farmers market. I've been to old oakland before, but i never thought that they had a farmers market. My first thought when we got to the farmers market was" shouldn't these people be at work". They were a lot of people there and i'm thinking "What???" 

    Things that i saw there were a whole bunch of organic foods and you got to sample a lot of the food their. it's was nice to go and see some of the good things about oakland. During lunch i got the opportunity to try a california roll. it seems like during this whole post session i've been trying new types of food that i wouldn't normally eat, it's fun!

   Later that day me and my class went to lake Merritt to go paddle boat riding. I been before but never at lake Merritt, so that was new for me. When we started boating it was hella peaceful. I think that that was the first time i didn't worry about the other things that were going on in my life at the time.

      One thing that was really embarrassing but sort of funny was when it was time to get out of the boat, this fly ass dude was helping me out the boat and i tripped and fell!!! i was just like wow, he didn't laugh or nothing but i was hella embarrassed. The only person who laughed was my teacher Mr. lee he thought that crap was like the funniest thing ever. Overall the whole day was really fun!

    

Rockridge reflection

Yesterday we went to Rockridge in oakland. At first i was thinking "where the hell is Rockridge", but then once we got there i remember me and my parents and sisters went over there one time. My first perception of Rockridge was that it was gonna look and be something like Walnut creek, but once i sort of got a feel of it, it is just another place in oakland to me. I mean don't get me wrong its way more different than east oakland but to me i knew i was in oakland and no place else.

         A major difference between Rockridge and Fruitvale to me was that the people in Rockridge are much more nicer. everyone that me and my group interviewed were pretty friendly and when they didn't want to get interviewed they weren't rude about it like some of the people in the Fruitvale district.

         Something that surprised me about Rockridge was that a lot of my class mates didn't know where Rockridge was or had never been over there before. i mean i sort of felt the a loner when it came to knowing were i was, i mean cause nobody knew where we were. And i was getting all juiced because i knew where i was and most of them were like "ooookay???" i mean after a while i didn't trip off of it, but it did surprise me a bit.

                Some similarities i saw between Rockridge and Fruitvale was that both are very busy places. They both have a lot of shopping places and food places. Rockridge is sort of more quite that Fruitvale though. They both are by schools. i mean i guess they're similar in some ways but i mean honestly i'd rather chill in Rockridge than Fruitvale. i say this because I've lived by the Fruitvale district from like time i was 8 to the time i was like 12 and to me i've seen everything there, Rockridge is somewhere i haven't been to often. But both when it's all said and done are coo places

the fruitvale district

So today we went to the fruitvale district to interview people about aesthetics. On tuesday we went to Walnut Creek and did the same interview there. to me it seems easier to interview people in Walnut Creek. it was easier because people were more willing to be interviewed and they didn't reject you as much. i know that when your doing interviews there will be rejections but it seems like the people in the fruitvale district didn't want to do the interviews... Overall i thought that it was way more harder to interview the people in the fruitvale district. At first i was thinking that" okay this is our community they're gonna show us some love and let us interview us, they're gonna be coo" but walnut creek was way more willing, which i didn't think they would be when i first went out there on tuesday.

One positive thing that i liked about going to fruitvale was that i grew up around there and t was good to come back and see what was the same and what was different. Another thing was that not all the people were rude and dismissive, there was this librarian who mr and my group interviewed and he was hella nice!!! i mean he was really willing to help us with our project. i think he was he only interview that i liked. We talked about graffiti and the difference between tagging and graffiti. it was really coo.
The negative things about fruitvale was that there were a lot of rude people. maybe they were too busy or something but they could have been a little but more nicer than they were. there was this bus driver lady who me and m group were trying to interview, and she was soooooooo RUDE!!! i mean we asked very nicely if we could have a interview with her and she was like" some kids already asked me." and i was like okay thats understandable so i said well these are way different questions, she asked what were the questions about, we told her and she was like " well those other kids asked me the same things." i thought wow i know that our questions were way different from the other group members. I thought if she didn't want to do the interview she could have just said so, she didn't have to all rude.
What i learned about the fruitvale district and the whole project in general is that, in life there will be people who reject you. Rather it's a job, dating, or just asking for something you want. All that we can do as people are respect it and try not to get all butt hurt(take it personal) about it. There will be other opportunities , and maybe the next time it will be better than the first.

my life and oakland

      i've been living here all my life. it's crazy how i
here people talk about how bad oakland is, but i don't
see it. I don't see what people are talking about.
i've been living out here all my life and there's is
not a time where i have thought about leaving, this is
my home. Everything that i have gone through and
everything that i have seen in oakland has influenced
my mind in some way. I learned how to take care of
myself, out here. Ever since little i had to survive
of here on my own. my mother wasn't there all the time
and i had to teach and grow up too fast out here. my
heart is here in oakland. and without oakland and the
things i had to go through out here, i wouldn't b the
person i am. i fell in love out here at 16 not hardly
knowing what love was at the time. lost something so
dear to me because i thought i could trust out here.
but i grew as a person because of it. most people
would think oakland is a bad place and if you are on
the outside looking in, you would really think so, but
i've been living here all my life and i wouldn't wanna
be anywhere else.

chinatown

     Yesterday we went to chinatown to do interviews.
i've been to chinatown a couple of times, i have drove
pass there. My first thought about chinatown was that
it's very busy. After actually going and hanging out
there, my perception of chinatown is the same, its
very busy and there are a lot of people there shopping
and walking around.
some of the things that are the same about
chinatown and fruitvale is that there basically one
race of people. in fruitvale there are latinos and
hispanics and in chinatown there's all types of
asians. one thing that i notice that is different
about the two is that in chinatown is that they have a
lot of resturants and shopping places, in fruitvale
its just busy.
What sort of surprised me but chinatown was that i
did see other people beside the asian community, there
were blacks and whites there, i don't think i seen
anyway hispanics, but i did see other races besides
asians. At first before we went to chinatown, i
thought that only asians go there and hang there but i
was really wrong
some similarities i noticed is that everybody
pretty much gets long with everybody.I think that
pretty much goes with every race, i believe that it's
just the "norm" that when you in a community with the
same race, you get along better. Not saying that it
should be that way but, i noticed that everybody in
chinatown were saying hi to each other and genuinely
comfortable in there surroundings

walnut creek

At first my perceptions of Walnut Creek before going
there was what I had heard from ever one else. I heard
that it was a rich white town with a lot of white
people there. I was sort of afraid to go at first
because I thought that is was going to be intimidating
to go out there. Now that I have gone out to Walnut
Creek, my view of Walnut Creek has sort of changed.

It has changed now because; I know that Walnut Creek
isn’t really that bad. My view of Walnut Creek is that
it’s just like any other town. Yes the majority of
Walnut Creek seems to be white but there is some
diversity there. While we were out there, I seen a lot
of shopping plazas and there were a lot expensive
stores, it was kind of new for me but then I thought
there are expensive store out here also.

To me, there wasn’t really a big difference between
Oakland and Walnut Creek. I’ve been to different parts
of Oakland and it doesn’t really seem that much
different. I guess it depends on what parts of Oakland
you go to. I believe that the same things that are in
Walnut Creek, you can see in piedmont. But then if you
live where I live there are differences.

I think that one thing that is similar is that
wherever you go there are people who think that there
community is better than any one else’s. I believe
that when we were in Walnut Creek there were people
who were sort of snobby, but I also see that in my
community. I think that the people who were from
Walnut Creek knew that we (life academy students) were
not from around there, I see that in my community too.
Overall, Walnut Creek is a really nice place. I
wouldn’t mind going shopping out there one day. They
had a lot of stores and restaurants. It’s a really
nice clean quite place.